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and yet youve never played a video game
legit theres a lot i dont get about you jay
thats okay im not complaining
it just kinda baffles me

[ he just doesn't have time for leisure... ok... which is not entirely true, but he can't exactly invest a lot of time in playing games now that he has the resources without looking like a massive manchild. a tragedy. ]

there's a lot i don't get about myself if i'm being honest but that's teetering on the philosophical

[ like that's stopped anyone else. c'mon jason, let her take you to marino party 5 night at hiro's place once this all blows over. ]

u know
if were talkin not boring shit
im all kindsa into bein philosophical

[ by all accounts, jason should've been the first person roxy texted once the fighting stopped and the dust was more or less settled. if roxy was a normal girl who found it easy to face whatever fears and problems she had, jason would have been the first person she checked in with. but that's the thing, isn't it? it's easy for roxy to pretend to be a badass, square her shoulders and make jokes about shit that bothers her, pretend to have a grand ol' time while quietly waving away that which chips away at her insides.

there are some things that roxy finds hard to face, no matter what she tries to do, and one of those things is knowing that she's still navigating her way around dealing with her own mental roadblocks. while she might not be running quite as fast as before, it's like she's standing in between her problems and a gymnastics course and she has to do her best to duck, leap and scale whatever obstacles are there just so that her problem seems smaller the farther away it gets.

it's just perspective, and not the type that she needs.

roxy tells herself that jay has his own bullshit to deal with, that he probably has friends that were injured and he needs to look after; she shouldn't bother him. she tells herself that the rasalhague are gone now and she doesn't have to worry about this anymore, she'll see him eventually because they always cross paths. she tells herself she has to be responsible and do the paperwork for hades and get things back up and running now that tatsuya's gone.

she doesn't tell herself that she's too freakin anxious over the fact that he might not be here anymore because other than darcy and hiro, jason's the closest thing to a best friend she's made here in zodion. especially now that the latest news (jiyeon, her cat was sent home) is the glue sticking her feet to the track, making it impossible to duck around this problem any longer. ]

hey jay
cuh-razyay month just got hella crazier lmao
like idk even where to begin that shits just messed
nice 2 know those gods can throw down when they wanna i guess
krios wasnt lyin bout them bein our protection

[ she hesitates, not even sure where she's going with this. ]

i guess i just
wanted to check in w/you
i know i coulda just looked @ the list but tbh wheres the fun in that
if i took the easy way out i couldnt get to talk 2 u
and lbr thats like THE hi-light of this place

[ gotta add that bit in: jason likes having his ego pandered to, she's learned, and she's all too happy to do so. but if she keeps going like this she's sure it's all going to come out in some pathetic ploy for attention, so she holds her breath. and sends it. ]

[ oh thank god.

it went through. ]

[ he's really just laying in his bed when he gets the text, and, truth be told, he's not looking forward to whatever might show up on his phone. things have settled by now, sure, but that doesn't mean the anxiety and anticipation has gotten a chance to seep away.

jason likes fighting. he likes doing what he can to get himself out there and helping people who can't help themselves. he doesn't like what's been happening in the slightest.

this month has been just as much of a test of his own values as it has been a test of family and friends, so he thinks he's allowed to be weary, even when he slides his thumb across the device to read roxy's message. ]

i'm a little banged up but otherwise A-OK captain

everything good on your end?

[ he assumes not, some residual pessimism from everything that's happened, but it's a good segue into conversation anyway. ]

[ roxy wasn't really anticipating a reply—she mainly wanted to see if the message would go through. knowing that it did and jason was still here, roxy felt a little more at ease.

after all, it's a strange sensation going from knowing everyone to knowing just a select few, and roxy more or less feels like the rug's been pulled out from under her feet. being in a place with no good friends physically around isn't a situation roxy's unused to, but... she supposes she got a little comfortable with the idea of having so many around in the first place. ]

yeah the ss sexy seyx dick time
run by capn rolal
is chuggin along as smooth

[ and she stops typing.

stops. deletes. takes in another breath and taps her fingertips on her device. it's clear he does have his own shit to take care of (banged up? that insinuates he's got injuries, be they mental or physical), and she shouldn't make it all about her. she shouldn't pile more on his shoulders. she shouldn't take up his time.

she also can't lie to him. she feels really freakin' guilty that she's essentially been lying to him about her home life and friends and basically everything else with regards to herself other than her personality and she should. stop that.

telling red hood more about her homelife than jason could ever know just compounds that guilt. so it's not everything, but being honest right now is a start, at least. ]

no actually
its not ._.

[ he's expecting the usual fare from roxy despite the genuine question, so when the message on his phone is an obvious sign of distress, mild or severe he can't quite tell, he feels... bad. it's not like he can say with any certainty that red hood put more on her shoulders at all, but he already wishes he'd done more to keep her out of this past month's mess.

bluh. ]

well you can't leave me hanging on that

idk what else to say

[ it's easy with janey and jake; they know her, know what to expect. jason's still a relatively new friend and after everything that's happened, the last thing roxy wants is to make the situation worse. but she's hurting in a way that neither her two best friends could possibly understand—and maybe it's naive to think that jason could. ]

shit is just all kinds of hella sucky
suckitude to the maxx
the mount everest version of sucktastic
but idk i guess 1 good thing bout this is that
i own hades now
so party time excellent

[ just imagine it in the most downtrodden tone ever and that's basically roxy to a t right now. ]

[ he can't blame her for being a bummer and he's certainly not going to call her out on it, but she's being a bummer. ]

i know all about suckitude believe me

for lack of a better term it sucks and i wish i could do more than repeat a word until it doesn't look like a word anymore

[ and if what she's told him is any indication, she's pretty well versed in the topic as well. ]

yea but thats the point where you pick a new word
& abuse the crap outta it

[ but she knows she's being a bummer and she feels bad about it. she's supposed to be the one supporting everyone else, not sitting here being sad and selfish. so deep breaths, lalonde. ]

sry i prolly shouldnt be dumpin this all on u
like i said b4 i just wanted to check in & see how you were doin
im guessing better now?
if you wanna talk about anything u know im here right

[ he squirms around until he's comfortable, folding one arm behind his head as a makeshift pillow and texting idly with the other. ever since that encounter with her as red hood, he feels like he knows her a little better, but what good does it really do him if he has to act like she's the same old roxy? ]

same goes to you though i can't promise my advice is any good

just not sure how to take a lot of the stuff that happened

makes a guy miss home

[ he's angry for dick; not upset, not scared, but angry that something was able to do that to him, and he can't help but wonder what bruce would think of the whole debacle. thinking about bruce, of course, always puts him in a bad mood these days, and he's just so, so tired of hurting.

being away has made his rage better, but now all he's left with is that raw wound of abandonment. ]

[ because she's still the same roxy—a little knowledge about her home life doesn't change that. if she knew he was having those thoughts, she'd do her best to convince him of that, but if that was the case, they wouldn't be here in the first place, would they?

she curls up against the headrest of her bed, knees tucked to her chest, one arm wrapped around them as she types with her other. ]

its not always bout advice yknow
sometimes ppl just need someone to listen so they can get all their shit off their chest
like idk if id have any advice for you about the crap that went down
other than running + hiding = the best plan ever
bcuz if youre hiding they cant throw u in jail lol
but if theres something you wanna say....
i got a cardboard sign a stool and a glass jar just waitin for 5cents
doc ro-lal is in

aw rox you're worth way more than 5 cents

i'd pay at LEAST a quarter for your company

[ he feels like he owes her something, but secrets are kind of meant to be kept. but, he supposes... he's spoken of his family before. she doesn't need details—there's no harm in setting down the base for maybe one day opening up.

about bruce. about dying. the red hood stuff can stay under wraps for now. ]

anyway text is totally not the best medium for this

i'm thinking a book would more aptly encompass all my issues

[ roxy stares at this text for a long moment, unsure which part is more sad: the fact that he didn't pick up on the peanuts reference, or the fact that jason doesn't seem to realize that books are just lots and lots of text on paper.

s q u i n t. ]

man
wtf kinda childhood you gotta have
where u dont even recognize a charlie brown ref
smh so hard @ this

[ just give her this and then she'll go back to being serious. ]

you underestimate me

the sentiment still stands that lucy's help was probably worth 5 cents

but you >>>>> lucy by far

[ kjdfhlksdjfsdlf ]

oh my effing
way 2 totally turn that around on me
i miust be losin my touch on this shit
thats totally my schitck step off jay
(only dont rly)

anywho gettin back on that sadsack track of ours
if ur not doin anything tonight....
idk maybe u could come over
& share the rough draft of ur novel with me
i got a fridge fulla cider
a shoulder fulla sympathy
& a apt fulla empty

you had me at cider

[ maybe it's worth it to at least give her a little backstory. and truth be told, this month has put him in serious need of some roxy time that doesn't involve criticizing the way she moves or the plans she makes.

he misses her. plain and simple. ]

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april 28, 1/2

wow omfg im sorry for all that tl;dr.

IT'S OKAY

drops more tl;dr on your shoulders then!!!

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